Batman Origins: Jonathan Crane
by Dr. Doodle
Summary: Nolanverse. Another in my Batman Origins series. Set before 'Batman Begins' Jonathan Crane tells us about his life and what made him who he is. Harleen Quinzel & Pamela Isley will be heavily included. Ties in with Batman Origins: Harleen Quinzel.
1. Meet Jonathan Crane

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself, I got all these ideas buzzing around in my head about Jonathan Crane's back story and I got excited thinking about writing from his point of view. I am still writing my other 2 stories on here and one other that I'm planning on putting up on here after I've finished 'The Shadow of the Bat'. I'm finding this as much more of a challenge as there's already a performance on screen to compare it to and I love Cillian Murphy so I want to do his performance justice here.  
Like my Harleen Quinzel story I wanted this to be a stream of consciousness thing so pretty much anything goes here about Jonathan's past in terms of how much he gives away :]  
I wish he had his own film – not enough screen time in either film if you ask me :/_

_Anyway here goes my first shot at getting into the mind of Jonathan Crane **BEFORE** 'Batman Begins'.  
I obviously can't keep Harley out of this as she & Pam Isely will play a huge role later on but for now I hope you enjoy the first chapter & please review? :]_

**Disclaimer: **DC owns everything but the characters I've created myself and as I say for every story I do – I've only done that to push the story along a little because of the many characters DC have already made available to play with! :]

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**Meet Jonathan Crane**

Working in Arkham Asylum is a dream come true for me. The human mind is a glorious thing, one of which I've had a lot of experience in trying to understand its functions in great detail, especially since working at Arkham. My fascination began when I was 12 years old. What started off as mere curiosity into my father's field of work soon spiralled into a wonderment of what could trigger people to say and do certain things – terrible things. However what's interested me throughout my life without me realising it is the fight or flight response, how people behaved when in a state of panic and to this day I still specialise in the study of it. I would say it was my father that encouraged me into the psychological field but I would be making a liar of myself and lying never was one of my strong points. Secrets on the other hand are a completely different story.

I began my experiments when I was 13. Unlike most adolescents I would stay in my room and play around with calculations on my computer. I actually made effective use of my teen years instead of blundering after girls in the mall like some kind of animalistic moron. However it amuses me now to think how little I knew at that age about creating my own substances for practical use. Though I was always a bright child, I never considered the fatalities that were possible when it came to mixing chemicals without supervision. I knew that I couldn't simply ask my father for help, he was always too busy and my mother had no brain to speak of. So naturally I took it upon myself to conduct these little experiments of mine on my own in the privacy of my own room. Nobody knew about it but one person, why I felt inclined to leave her to look around my room I don't know. However I suspected it was due to the distraction of working on one of my calculations that I let my guard down; after all she appeared harmless enough. She was an average thirteen year old, naive and restless but needless to say, she found the chemicals pretty quick. It almost seemed as though she were gifted with a heightened sense of smell. An interesting girl though, average on the outside but interesting nonetheless. Truth be told, I couldn't stand her.

Nevertheless I digress, so I would like to now stress on the point of my parents. I know everybody says they love their parents but like I said before, lying was never one of my strong points so I have no qualms in saying that I loathe them. They gave me what I needed financially of course but not what I really wanted. What was typically hypocritical of them was the way in which they were neglectful yet became somewhat persistent on me doing well at school. It was an odd combination of appearing not to care when I was doing well and then rushing to me with criticism whenever my grades slipped a little – though I must admit didn't happen very often so as you can imagine I was often left alone. What irks me now is the fact that they pretended to care, like pretending actually meant something. If anything, it made it worse. I don't blame my father for it so much, he did work at Arkham Asylum treating the criminally insane and I know now what a challenge that can be. However I've learned that if certain drugs are mixed right, they can do wonders for the inmates*.

As a young child I remember my mother nearly leaving me behind in the park on several occasions. The shameless way in which she made it seem like she was going there for me to get some fresh air and exercise. As though she were there so I could develop my social skills and mingle with the other children. Giving the impression that she was doing it all for my benefit. The whole thing was laughable. I know the only reason she took me there was so she could have her little 'mothers meetings' by the playground with her disgraceful 'friends' that so badly wanted to be something more than they were. It was evident by the way they carried themselves that they were desperate to prove their worth. They looked plastic, as though they were made completely from prosthetic parts. It was really quite disgusting how they'd flaunt around what their rich husbands had bought for them because of their over exaggerated insecurities; in most cases it was a whole new body. Why not just get yourself a younger wife? It makes so much more sense. Though I obviously didn't think of any of this at the time due to me being so young, reflection of it has enlightened me to realise all this and I know that I am right about it. I'm right about pretty much everything – wouldn't have got where I am today if I wasn't.

On these visits to the park my mother would leave me to 'play' in the sandbox with some obnoxious little brat I didn't even know whose mother was another one of these pathetic excuses for human life. I could also guarantee that no matter what brat was sitting with me, they were always the same. They were spoiled and thought they could do whatever they wanted even though they had no real worth. I suppose this backed up the theory of parents passing on their most hideous personality traits to their offspring. Though I think that's been proven time and time again over the years. I think unconsciously my experience of this is what has made me grow to hate children. I never met any I considered as friends as I was growing up. Nobody really accepted me but I suppose that's just the way it goes. There's always one kid who never quite fitted in and it just so happened that it was my turn to be that kid. Who knows, maybe little Jonathan Crane was just a little too different for their liking? Despite the bitterness I initially felt, I grew to like the isolation. It made me feel like I was the only person in the world that mattered and maybe that was true? What a wonderful world it would be if it were.

On one particular day I remember sitting in the sandbox again with another one of these generic devil children. It was like any other day out in the park with my mother but reflecting on it has made me realise the significance of it concerning my life choices. I was four years old at the time and this kid that was sitting opposite me was asking for trouble. He'd been terrorising me all week, playing with his toys right in front of me and then taking mine off me whenever it suited him. On this day however I'd made the effort to build a sand castle with my bare hands, though it wasn't the typical shape of one so much as it was a mound of sand that I'd gathered together in an attempt at a castle. However this kid saw my mound of sand and kicked it right in front of me. He started laughing hysterically when it flew out into my face and all over my clothes like it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen – a constitution as to how dense these kids were.

That's when I felt the anger grow inside of me, I felt my heart beating faster and my small hands balled into fists as I sat there and started to shake from the current of fury that was running through me. I'd made up my mind as soon as he started laughing that I'd had enough of this park, enough of my mother for leaving me behind all the time and enough of this kid. He carried on laughing and tears had begun to run down his face. That's when I did it, I lunged for his throat and the most peculiar thing happened. The expression on his face changed so suddenly and it made me feel so good about myself that I'd caused that terror in his eyes. I was on top of this kid, clawing at his throat and face like nothing else in the world mattered at that moment. The built up rage inside of me was being let out, like a rabid dog that had been let off its leash. Though I was only four years old I loved it. I loved the scared look in his eyes that cascaded with the tears of his fear. I guess little Jonathan Crane really was weird after all – who would've thought it? I heard my mother shout my name in protest as she ran over to drag me off the brat.

"JONATHAN WHAT ARE YOU _DOING_?!" she screeched down my ear, nearly deafening me as she tore me off him. I attempted to kick and swing my way out of her grip but it didn't work. The brat's mother then bounded over, blonde hair and blue eyes and ridiculously thin – though I couldn't exactly criticise about that myself. She picked up her kid who was still crying from the pummelling I'd given him, his face was bright pink and he had a good few scratch marks on his face. All in all, I felt pretty proud of myself. As the woman shielded her brat in horror as though I was the devil's son, my mother decided to put me down. Her face was a picture and God what I would've given now if I could've had that picture taken and framed to put on my desk at work. It was the only time I've ever seen her completely speechless and my mother could conduct a whole conversation by herself with herself as five different people that could last for hours. I have seriously privately diagnosed my mother with Multiple Personality Disorder – it's made me realise how much of an amateur my father is for not being able to see it. Either that or he didn't want to see it, in which case he's ultimately done her more harm than good but then again, why should I care about that?

My mother told me to apologise to the brat but when I stood there and said nothing the brat's mother just shouted something at her and then ran off somewhere, dragging him along with her. I knew whatever she said wasn't good but at that point I didn't really care. I was high on raw energy and nothing could get me down until my mother raised her hand and smacked me. That's when the four year old child returned in me and I started crying.

"I can't show my face in this park again because of your behaviour!" she told me and she was blindingly furious about it. It was typical that she only thought about how it had affected her. She grabbed me roughly by the wrist and led me through the park in fury. I cried all the way home.

It's quite funny how one little incident can affect the rest of your life. That's another reason why I do what I do I suppose but I guess fear ultimately has always interested me in some form or another. I've not acted in such a way since that specific incident, in fact I've always been pretty calm and collected. Definately more dignified. I realise now that fear shouldn't be gained through behaving like that. I've concluded that I was no better than that brat for doing what I did. For turning on him so savagely like that. Like an animal.

But the rush...there was nothing quite like it.

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_* I wanted this to act as a reference to his future shenanigans in 'Batman Begins' with the human experimentation :]_

_I did want to get the Scarecrow side of Crane in here a little bit so this outburst was significant to the rest of the story that is to come!  
Oh and just for the record, I'll probably not be using back stories you're familiar with concerning Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow as they've been done before and this is my Nolanverse interpretation of his past so of course I wanted to make it something credible of that universe as well as something that was mine.  
I'll admit now that I'm not as familiar with Jonathan Crane as I am with characters like Harley and Joker as I tend to favour the Harley and Joker comics/cartoons over the others so I've read a lot more about them and understand where they're coming from a lot more.  
I obviously know a fair bit about him because let's face it...he's the Scarecrow, one of the greatest Batman villains ever however with Jonathan Crane being so reclusive it was difficult to get into the mind of him as everything I've seen of him so far doesn't leave much for me to work with.  
However this is TDK/Batman Begins Jonathan Crane after all so I obviously didn't want to revert back to the original too much.  
I really hope you liked him or loathed him (in a good way of course!).  
I gave it my best shot so please review? :]_


	2. Fear of Victory

**HELLO ALL! :] THERE'S PROBABLY SOME MISTAKES I'VE MADE WHILST TOUCHING THIS UP A LITTLE BUT I WANTED IT UP SO YOU'D BETTER REVIEW! :O I'VE BROKEN UP THE STORY A LITTLE THOUGH IT ALL KIND OF FLOWS ANYWAY :P  
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**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **_I got myself Breakfast on Pluto on DVD because my love for Cillian Murphy is growing and he makes such a pretty girl! :] It's also a wonderfully weird film!  
Completely irrelevant to the chapter but I'm so happy about it so I thought I'd tell you all :P  
Though I will say that I've named this chapter after a BTAS episode that features Mr. Scarecrow himself of course! :D Though I have used it as a way to represent Crane's roommate in college, you'll see what I mean when he talks about this person. Also Jonathan's fear of intimacy is reflected in this title so I thought it really appropriate.  
ANYWAY we'll be taking a few step forward in time from little Jonathan to bigger Jonathan so I'll just let him tell the story now :]  
HOPE YOU LIKE IT & PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME REVIEWS!!! :'[_

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_**Fear of Victory**

College was undoubtedly a milestone in my life. This was due to it being the first time I felt I had no boundaries, no limits as to what I could explore. This however was not an impossible feat as I'd previously had little freedom outside the walls of my bedroom and it gave me the chance to finally break away from my mother. There would be no more falseness in the result of patronising behaviour towards me. I could be truly alone when I wanted to be, I was free. There was no doubt in my mind when I first saw the magnificent campus that I was in my personal heaven. This is quite ironic as I've grown tired of the idea of anything religious due to growing up with an overbearing grandmother* who felt it her duty to attempt to brainwash me into believing in Christianity. She died when I was just eight years old so I was luckily spared the 'cleansing of my soul' for the remainder of my life. Many people would never like to admit this about their dearly departed but I wish to remain an honest man by admitting how much I intensely disliked her, and she me. On reflection death was probably the best thing that ever happened to her as it reunited her with her precious 'God'. Like there ever was such a thing.

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When I first moved to college my mother gave the waterworks on arrival at the campus. It was a show that she paraded around to receive some kind of sympathy. Who she expected to get it from was a mystery as I'm sure the people passing by wouldn't have cared. All they wanted to do was to get to their rooms and unpack. Needless to say, consoling a sad woman wasn't on top of their list of priorities. That's exactly what it was; _sad_. My father wasn't there to give her a reassuring pity hug as he had been called back to Arkham in the early hours of the morning for reasons I didn't know. All I knew is that she definitely wouldn't receive any sympathy from me because she didn't simply deserve it. The entire thing was an embarrassment. However this was not because of the display, it was embarrassing because I knew it was all a show, possibly for the other people that resided in her head. I knew she didn't care about being rid of me and my father was too busy to know I was gone. The truth was that she could do whatever she wanted now. She didn't have her disappointment of a son holding her back. She could go back to the park and make some phoney new friends and revel in the fact that they secretly hated everybody but themselves, including her. However she would blatantly deny this if confronted with it. Everybody loved her, of course. Why shouldn't they?

After my mother grew tired of the scene she was making, she decided to leave me be. Other parents were insistent on taking a look around the campus and meeting the roommates of their children but not her. I could have been placed in a room with a sociopath and she would have been none the wiser, though I doubt she would even know what a sociopath was. It was clear that she was obviously far too 'upset' that her only son was leaving her for good and it would definitely be **for good**. Before leaving she told me that she and my father would call me as soon as they could which I mistook to meaning it would have been within the proceeding two or three weeks. I only learned this wasn't so when I didn't receive the call until the end of semester. This was only typical of her selfishness. I didn't even wonder about whether it had slipped her mind after all I'm sure she must have had many other 'important' matters to attend to. However I must say after the display she made amongst other factors, it was a relief that I didn't hear from her for such a long time.

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Walking down the halls of residence full of frantic freshmen acting as though they'd never been out in the daylight before wasn't too re_fresh_ing and I was dreading being trapped in a room with a jock simpleton. Gotham University appeared to be full of them. The thing about college is that it will always be full of people who are there to simply fill in the gaps. These are the people who take up valuable space in our education system and bleed their parents dry with no good cause. This has always disgusted me and I noticed this lack of morals much more when I worked in the University after receiving my doctrate**. I was always encouraged by the University to keep my opinions to myself but I often let them slip during classes when I could no longer contain my frustrations toward certain students of mine. I suppose this was another contributing factor as to why they eventually thought fit to relieve me of my position. With the way things turned out, this evidently played into my best interests.

It was a relief for me to discover when I reached my room that I would be sharing it with a fellow Psychology student by the name of Guy Kopski***. On reflection I believe it is safe to confirm now after living with him for so long that Kopski's boyish charms didn't fail to exceed his appearance. In much simpler terms, he thought himself much more handsome and sophisticated than he actually was. He was actually a blundering fool who made it his personal endeavour to prove to everyone else he was 'just like them' by participating in childish activities such as water balloon fights with idiotic girls in the hall. Whilst this was taking place I would retire to the library across campus or get lost in my books as best I could. It's safe to assume I had no intention of joining him. He attempted to entice me many times at the beginning of college to join him and the loose girls but failed as I didn't wish to be involved with women that had so little brain and little self respect to go with it. This is a deadly combination for obsessive behaviour and I wasn't willing to encourage it, Guy above anyone should have known that. However he soon got the hint that I didn't care and after that he respected my space. It satisfied me in an unusual way that he would often complain to me about a different girl every couple of weeks. There was so many times in which he stated they wouldn't leave him alone but he ultimately brought it on himself so I offered no sympathy for it.

Regardless of his often foolish behaviour, Kopski possessed an exceptionally high level of intelligence which actually came as a breath of fresh air to me after years of being surrounded by never ending stupidity in all aspects of my life. There were nights when we would discuss our ideas on various cognitive and biological theories at night when he wasn't partaking in idiotic activities with the mediocre students. Many times I found myself in awe at what he would conjure up in that mind of his that was much more complex than he would allow credit for. There have been few people I could say this about and I do not exaggerate. However despite his brilliant mind I always felt that Kopski was doomed to be one of those people who would never quite know how to apply themselves. I instinctively knew from the first time we met that he would never be able to reach his full potential due to his desperation to fit in and this bothered me a great deal. The fact that Kopski put others opinions of him before his education was a waste of his talents and displayed a clear lack of common sense. The truth was that he would always be the one to allow life to get in the way of his ambitions, if indeed he had any.

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Unlike Guy Kopski, I never involved myself in romantic entanglements or other commitments that would risk ruining my chance of success. A 'ball and chain', so to speak, was the last thing I wanted, however I did find myself become tempted on several occasions. Though I was determined to not indulge in these impulses, the hormones of a young man would not subside for rational thought. The most dominant of these temptations came about during my second year when a young freshman whom I'd been familiar during my teen years arrived at Gotham University for her further education. Like me, she ultimately did it to escape her parents as we lived not too far from each other and in similar houses. We could have lived the same life if we weren't so different beneath the surface. All the fundamentals were there; the suburban house, fathers in the field of psychology as well as mothers who were formidable in their own right. I knew this because I knew them and I empathised with this.

It was a month into the new college year when we crossed paths again. Kopski was partaking in another one of his shameful antics that was making an unruly amount of noise so naturally I decided to retire to the library and study in peace. It just so happened there was a certain book on measures and methods of human psychopharmacology that had come to my attention and I had full intent on studying its contents in great detail. The library itself had very few students in it which wasn't unusual for the time of day. They consisted mainly of the more mature students who took their studies much more seriously and I suppose this was due to them believing it to be their last chance on getting anywhere in life. The fear of failure after all, is the most common fear of them all.

I engrossed myself in the silence which was greatly welcome and placed my bag on the same table I always used to study on. This was situated right by the Sciences section and also by the large window that spanned across most of the far wall. I enjoyed this space as the gusts of fresh air that often drifted through would keep me cool enough for me to not have to take breaks in my studying. I entered the Psychology section to search for my book of choice which was when I heard a distinct noise of someone entering the library and I initially thought nothing of it, thinking it to be another mature student desperate to catch up on their missed opportunities. I continued searching for my book when I heard footsteps coming in my direction which was closely followed by young woman's voice that broke my concentration.

"Excuse me?" she spoke softly despite very few people being there, at least she was considerate. Her voice sounded lost and somewhat defeated, I could tell she felt insecure just by the tone. I immediately felt quite irritated by her interruption that I considered as rather unnecessary but turned my attention to her anyway. Her small lean frame looked out of place as she looked the athletic type, her porcelain skin, blonde hair that was pulled back tightly and blue eyes were the stereotypical features of an airheaded cheerleader. The only redeeming feature was the fact she was carrying books in her arms which showed there may have been a little bit more to her, however the thought occurred to me that anyone could carry books around to make themselves look smart. The unforgettable features of her washed out jeans and Gotham University sweatshirt told me that she was a freshman and I had already made up my mind that she was pretty, there was no doubt about that but I initially had no interest in getting to know her. However she approached me with curiosity in her eyes and a look of what could have been familiarity rose on her face.

"I was uh – just going to ask where about the Psychopharmacological situated books were." She smiled and I thought it was some kind of joke; this girl couldn't have possibly been interested in something as meaningful as that. It was becoming my speciality and a girl like her was actually interested in it? In my head the image of hell freezing over was being projected which unwillingly caused me to smirk.

"What?" her smile faded and her pupils shifted a little as she attempted to achieve eye contact but it all seemed too personal so I averted my eyes to look around at the books and appear to be in contemplation.

"Nothing, I was just um," I paused as I pushed up my glasses and looked back at her, it then struck me that there was something awfully familiar about this girl. I felt that we had met before but I couldn't quite put my finger on where or when. I was never good with remembering names and I suppose this was due to me consuming so much information every day through my studies. In consequence, once new information was absorbed into my mind it caused old information to become lost – a common occurrence in the functions of the human mind.

"All the Psychopharmacological related texts are situated right here," I decided to tell her and gestured toward the books right next to me. She thanked me and smiled again though it didn't appear to be as sincere as the one she had given me previously. I ignored it and continued to look for my book as she placed the books she was carrying down on the floor beside her. She then joined me in looking through the books and I was curious as to what she was looking for. The thought it was a joke had already left me but I was still bewildered by the fact she partook in similar interests to mine. That was when the silence was interrupted once again by her voice.

"Are you a freshman?" she asked and I doubted she had considered the ridiculousness of the question before asking it. I evidently knew what I was doing, if I were a freshman I wouldn't have but I decided to ignore pointing out to her how illogical the question was and gave her a simple answer instead.

"No, I'm a sophomore." I replied and I could feel her eyes on me again so I turned to look at her. She was reading my face with her eyes. I could tell this by the way they darted across as though possessing a nervous twitch.

"Oh, well do you know somebody called Jonathan Crane?" she asked which caught me off guard completely. How did she know who I was? It intrigued me and I felt something shift inside of me as I looked at her face. It was inevitably what people would refer to as 'butterflies' in the stomach. For some reason at that moment it had triggered and I wasn't sure why.

"I am Jonathan Crane," I replied and her eyes widened a little and I could tell she was somewhat forcing the smile that formed on her face.

"I had a feeling it was you. I didn't want to ask outright in case it wasn't but...God I can't believe it!" Her voice raised a little and she was promptly silenced by a mature student sitting on a table nearby.

"Sorry," she replied to being shushed by the student. Despite this, there was a slight indication of relief as though she were happy to find someone she actually knew. I on the other hand didn't have a clue who this girl was.

"I'm sorry but I'm having difficulty placing you." I told her bluntly to which she realised she'd not introduced herself. I thought it rather arrogant of her to just expect me to know who she was but with what I was feeling I really wanted to know.

"Oh, it's me, Harley...Harleen Quinzel, don't you remember?" She said as she offered her hand to me in a formal manner and I took it. Something like this was refreshing to me considering there were too many people in college that felt it appropriate to hug you when they hardly knew you; as though they had a right to do so. A handshake was much more appropriate. I remembered who she was, the blonde haired girl who irritated me and I attempted to let her know this without actually saying it. However I doubt she ever really understood my body language whilst she was there. The ridiculous things her mother made her wear, her natural curiosity and naivety, of course I remembered her. Although what I failed to remember was what she knew about me as she was the one that discovered the chemicals in my room. She was the only one who knew anything of it which was funny considering I initially couldn't stand her. However I was seeing her in a completely different way from then. She had certainly come a long way since then and I remembered her parents were nothing short of unusual themselves which must have been the reason why they got along so well with mine.

"Yes, I remember now, Professor Quinzel's daughter?" I asked to which she forced a smirk.

"Yeah, well – ex Professor," she appeared relieved and I could empathise with this, I wouldn't have liked for either of my parents to work in my place of study. If they cared enough to bother me constantly then I would say there would be no escape for me but they didn't so I really couldn't know what this would have been like. I did however know this already as he would have been lecturing me the year before and he evidently didn't.

"Of course, I heard." I informed her. The hoarseness of our voices was becoming bothersome and it made me want to stop talking altogether but I didn't have the heart to tell her to leave me alone as the familiar feeling of awkwardness had resurfaced. It made me feel tense and this was a difficult thing to achieve.

"Are you studying Psychology too?" She asked me which I felt was another stupid question but then it just affirmed the fact that she was studying it herself.

"You're studying Psychology?" I was rather shocked although I shouldn't have been; she was after all in the Psychology section. However, on remembering our differences as children; she being the blonde haired girl with a cheery disposition that appeared desperate for friends; me being the boy who kept to himself and his devices with no qualms about it. We appeared destined to be completely opposing of one another – if you believe in such notions as destiny anyway.

"Of course, why is that weird?" she replied and appeared either offended or confused but I supposed it was the former as I was sure she was often subject to the assumption of not being capable of intelligence due to her appearance. It was evident that she wanted to prove people wrong as it seeped out of her from every possible angle. The way in which she carried herself, the determination to let me know she was more than just a pretty face. It was rather sad that she appeared to be seeking acceptance from me without her realising it but I did because my hormones were running wild. I ignored the thoughts of her that attempted to fill my mind as we were talking and it was a difficult thing to do. Being a young man with little experience of girls, these feelings were inevitable.

"It's just a little odd for freshmen to be in the library so soon in the year." I told her and though this was true I only said it to prevent an awkward silence of my daydreaming as I'm sure it would have resulted in me standing there staring at her as though I was lost myself. The whole situation was being made awkward enough by testosterone so I didn't wish for this to intensify. She genuinely smiled at what I'd said and I could tell it was due to her feeling somewhat accepted by me as I could have been brutally honest in stating it was because she looked like an airheaded blonde that didn't have a chance in understanding the complexities of the human mind no matter how persistent she was. However I didn't lie, I was just much easier on her than I could have been. After all, like I said before, lying never was one of my strong points so I wasn't about to begin making it a habit.

"Well, I like to get a head start on things. Besides, I couldn't wait to get stuck into the books. I've wanted to study Psychology for years." She told me and I found myself become even more surprised. Maybe it was that she wasn't just attempting to prove herself? Maybe this girl actually had an interest in the things that mattered? If this was so then it was a far cry from her old self as I remember now that she appeared to be as dense as the rest of them. There was nothing special about her back then but it was evident that she had changed and that was good.

"Is that so?" I asked and then I realised the tone in my voice suggested endearment which I wasn't intent on displaying. Needless to say, the unconscious part of my mind had caused this which was an embarrassment. Luckily for me, she didn't appear to notice. She hesitated before answering my question at first and there was an unsure air about her as though she was sceptical on whether to tell me something but she did anyway.

"Yeah, I'm thinking of specialising in criminal psychology. I know it seems kind of weird but I find it fascinating don't you?" she asked and I felt as though I could have been dreaming. The whole experience was rather unreal to me as her appearance didn't pair well with the words she was uttering.

"The criminal mind is an intriguing subject. I'm specialising in psychopharmacological matters myself." It was undoubtedly a brief exchange of interests within the field. The thought was running through my mind whether she was attracted to me but I always knew I could never act on this and that the idea of it was ridiculous. She smiled at me again and something changed in her attitude as though she knew something, and she did.

"Chemicals huh? I didn't forget," she said knowingly and this perplexed me. I wasn't sure what was being implied by what she said but I know that she was referring to my experiments.

"Forget what?" I asked and he shook her head lightly whilst attempting to stifle a smile.

"It doesn't matter." She told me so I quickly dismissed the statement and then looked back to the bookcase quickly in a feeble attempt to show her I still wanted to find that book.

"Say do you fancy catching up for old times' sake or are you busy here?" she asked and it was an unusual question as I assumed she was looking for something herself. However I didn't fail to notice that we had been standing in the Psychology section doing nothing but talking for a little longer than necessary. An overwhelming part of me wanted to tell her I didn't wish to go along with her but for some reason I abandoned it.

"No, I can catch up on this later. Let me just find this book," I still wanted the book, I wasn't leaving without it and she understood.

"Sure, I'll help you. What's it called?" she asked and we both began to glance over the book spines once again.

"Human Psychopharmacology: Measures and Methods by Ian Hindmarch." I told her which caught her interest.

"Interesting, is there any chance I could have it after you've finished?" she asked and I thought I needed to pinch myself. These irrational feelings of mine were ridiculous and I knew if I wasn't careful that she could create a beautiful distraction but I wasn't willing to partake in this fully. One night of conversation on the other hand wouldn't be so terrible and I now thank myself for doing so.

"I don't see why not," I told her and she seemed satisfied with this. After a short silence of searching for the book I requested she broke the silence again.

"Found it," she rasped with a hint of excitement as she slid the book out of the bookcase. She handed it to me and smiled that warming smile of hers again so I naturally couldn't resist thanking her. The persistent smiling would have been rather annoying to me but something in me found it endearing, there was an innocence to her that appeared untouchable. I wanted to know whether I could get to know her fully because the truth is that I was becoming rather infatuated with her even if I did want to refuse the existence of my complex emotions.

"Are you not getting a book to study?" I asked when I noticed her pick her old books back up off the floor beside her. She appeared to have no intention on finding another book, at least not for now.

"Oh no, I can have a better look around tomorrow. I think I'd rather catch up with you for the moment if that alright with you?" she asked and obviously this was perfectly acceptable to me. My thoughts were becoming more vivid by the minute and were what my grandmother could only describe as 'impure'. However I was far beyond caring about her and it actually amused me to think of what she'd say but I managed to hold back the amusement from showing on my face in case questions were raised.

"Of course, we'll go now then shall we?" I told her and we began to walk away from the many books she could have picked up.

"Sure, you can show me the way. I'm still pretty lost," I wasn't sure whether some of the things she said to me where an attempt to seduce but on looking at her I didn't believe this to be likely. She seemed the innocent type, the kind of girl that would hold back in her advances. Besides there was no doubt in my mind that she would rather choose someone like Kopski over me as his charms appeared to know no boundaries. However I dismissed the picture of her and Kopski and decided to be a gentleman to her and take charge of where we would go.

"Alright," and with this we collected my bag from the table by the window, checked out my book and left. I took her to a small café situated not too far from the University. On the way there we didn't say much to each other but once we reached the café and the initial awkwardness subsided, we stayed there until 10 o'clock talking about our subject matter as well as chaos theory and various philosophical view points. I was smitten with her then and I wanted to ask her the big question but I knew I had made what I would consider a true friend. That and I didn't want the beautiful distraction of Harleen Quinzel interfering with my studies as this would surely ruin my chances at understanding the human mind the way I longed to. Not wishing to jeopardise a rare occurrence of friendship as well as my education, I didn't ask. Like my prediction it wasn't long until Guy got a hold of her and I knew that introducing them was a mistake. They were happy for a while and it wasn't long till the feelings I had soon settled but till this day they have never quite disappeared.

* * *

_I thought it would be cute for him to have a crush on her and leave it on an interesting note but I don't think there'll be any romantic 'entanglements' as Jonathan put it. However I want to display that although he's lived a pretty reclusive lifestyle, he's not a robot so of course his hormones will still be that of a young college student. He does have feelings and he can be hurt, he's not a monster but he has the potential to become one. I want to go into depth about how Jonathan can be the way he is in 'Batman Begins' so I think there needs to be something that can hurt him to push him in that direction. Like what Mr. Joker said about madness, it's like gravity...all it takes is a little push! ;]_

_* Jonathan's religious grandmother from his (pretty much cemented) past. Except here I decided to kill her off before she became too much of a menace, that's Nancy's job after all :D_

_** In the novelisation of 'The Dark Knight' it says that Dr. Crane was fired from working at Gotham University before he took up his post at Arkham so I decided to use this :]_

_*** Guy Kopski is one of Harleen Quinzel's old boyfriends from her comic book origins so obviously some more involvement from Harleen is to be expected as I mentioned in the summary, I love her too much haha! :P_

_**TAKING APART THE STORY – SOME NOTES ON WHAT I WANT TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS**__  
I realise that Jonathan's quite cynical in the way I've written him here but I believe him to be a very cynical person. One line that sticks in my mind from 'Batman Begins' that says so much about him is the way in which he says about Rachel to Finch whilst she's standing right behind him "Mr. Finch, I think you should check with Miss Dawes here, just what implications your office has authorized her to make. If any." It gives him an air of arrogance, as though only his opinion matters and I think this should be reflected when he talks about other people's beliefs and lifestyles. Then of course after his transformation into The Scarecrow near the end of the film there's that brilliant line "There's nothing to fear but fear __**himself**__." That line sums up the character completely as he sees himself as being a state of mind rather than an individual. This Scarecrow character is obviously an extension of his former self, a different person that has __been locked away. The thing with Jonathan Crane is that he is really two different people, there's the mild mannered doctor that wants to excel in everything to prove he's the best and then there's the violent sociopath that wants nothing more than to cause others pain._

_However I do ultimately want to present the tragedy of a young boy longing for love and acceptance, I want the alienation he's suffered from to be a reason for his unruly behaviour and eventual being pushed into organised criminal activity. Now obviously some sympathy needs to be evoked on his behalf with him being the protagonist here. He needs to be strangely lovable (though I don't understand why anyone would read this if they didn't like him!) But what I'm shooting for here is a 'Catcher in the Rye' type of story, Jonathan is effectively like Holden Caulfield (for those of you who have read it) as I believe this is what he would be like if he were to exist in real life (aka his Nolanverse past if it were to be represented on screen). This is why he takes a particular disliking to falseness, particularly on his mother's behalf. This carries through into adulthood because of his less than fond memories of how his mother lacked affection for him as a child and partook in affection for material objects that didn't matter. I'm not sure whether I should go into detail about why Nancy Crane appears to dislike her son so much but I may touch upon the reason why. In order to do that I'd need to do a chapter from her point of view as a kind of break in the story or an objective point of view. Though I'm not sure whether I should do this as of yet, I'm concentrating on Jonathan because he is what really matters and it's fun representing his mother as a nut job :]_


	3. Talent for Disruption

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** TA DA, it's finally here!!! :D After running into a mental block on this chapter I did find some inspiration from E.S. Young who is a very talented writer on here. I highly recommend you read 'Fear and Malice', it is such a wonderful story and I have to admit that I'm highly jealous I didn't think it up myself but hey, I've created my own little Nolanverse world just as everyone else has on here so I'll stick to my guns and give you more from Jonathan :)

Oh and the title originates from 'Batman Begins' – "_The Batman has a talent for disruption." – Scarecrow  
_The disruption connotes what is said about Guy Kopski as well as Jonathan himself, you'll understand what I mean by this when you see what happens so on that note, ENJOY! :P

_

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**Talent for Disruption**

Although college liberated me in ways I thought impossible during my childhood, there were many aspects of it that I never quite warmed up to. One of these being the lack of, well let's say _broader_ study materials in the library to satisfy my own curiosities*. Another thing was the relentless partying and interruptions that mainly consisted of the, would be med school dropout, Guy Kopski. It would always be something trivial; usually it was filling me in on the details of what he was going to do when he went back to his hometown in Oregon, a small place that I never cared to remember the name of simply because it didn't interest me. I never cared for Guy Kopski and I did all I could to make this clear to him, however I'm unsure whether he chose to ignore my subtle hostility or whether he was indeed much too dim to notice it. No matter what the reason, he never stopped interrupting me with my studies and to me. Needless to say, I always viewed Kopski as a specialist in the art of disruption. There was one matter he imparted to me that I remember being thoroughly disgusted by. However it was the event that followed this particular afternoon near the end of my sophomore year that would really make me loathe even the sound of his name, even if I did play my own small part in it.

It was a typical afternoon of studying in which I had expected to be interrupted several times; it was after all, a common occurrence and I wasn't disappointed as I heard the door knock after just half an hour of intensive research.

"It's open," I informed the disrupter whom I wasn't surprised at seeing when the door opened frantically and an out of breath blonde freshman stood there, leaning on the door handle.

"Hi!" she burst out with a breathless smile that should have been forced concerning the anxious state she was in but as usual, it was genuine however she did look a little worse for wear. Harleen Quinzel, the usually well put together girl was standing in my doorway wearing a GCU** hooded sweatshirt hanging off of her petite frame which more than likely belonged to my idiotic roommate, her hair was tied back lazily and the various paperwork she held with her other arm was crumpled and completely disorganised. She indeed had all the vital signs of a walking disaster.

"Do you wanna come to the library with me and Pam? I could do with a bit of help on this term paper. Oh and have you seen Guy anywhere? I've been looking for him all morning." She continued when I turned back to my work after taking a good look at the state she was in. This fully explained her chaotic appearance as she had no doubt left it to the last minute yet again. Anyone else would have surely been offended by my turning away when they were in this state of panic but there was something about Harleen that didn't allow her to be offended by my behaviour towards my studies in terms of my focus. I had aided her in many of her relentless quests to finish an entire paper in just a matter of hours, for this we moved from the library to our usual spot in the cafe. However on this occasion I wasn't willing to put her needs before my own. There always appeared to be an unspoken agreement between us both that to me, my studies came before anything or anyone else and one thing I liked about Harleen was that she always respected that, no matter how rude it may have appeared to others.

"You always need help Harleen and no, I haven't seen him." Guy Kopski at that time was rapidly becoming the bane of my existence. Though he was not the only med student that acted like the jocks in GCU, he was the only one that I had no choice but to converse with on a daily basis which made him that much more of a burden on me. Of course his involvement with Harleen did nothing but further my annoyance with him as it meant that I was forced to hear her gush nonsense about Kopski in an irrational manner whenever we frequented the cafe, which had become very frequent indeed during her time of being with him. Needless to say, Kopski not only ruined my study pattern but also took away a lot of comforts that I had become accustomed to.

"Oh don't be so dramatic Jonathan, I don't _always_ need help." She sighed and rolled her eyes in that exaggerated way of hers which I found she often displayed when she couldn't get her own way.

"I'll be the judge of that, besides I have a lot of work to do; maybe _Guy_ can help you with your paper, if you find him." I turned and smirked briefly before attending to my work once again, the whole interruption was really beginning to bother me.

"Look I know that Guy isn't as perfect as you in what he does but that doesn't give you the right to insult his intelligence when he's not here to defend himself." It amused me that Harleen took the whole thing so personally considering the insult was only very subtle. Through the rose tinted spectacles that she often viewed the world, I believe that Harleen could have mistaken me and Kopski as being somewhat close to each other due to our living space. Unfortunately for her reality wasn't this picture perfect and to her displeasure, Harleen knew this all too well.

"It was you that insinuated it Harleen; I didn't say anything bad about him. I was simply making an observation." I was in no mood to enter a heated debate about Kopski unless it was regarding how much of a waste of space he was and how much he didn't deserve to waste two spare minutes of Harleen's time, never mind take up the majority of it.

"It's not what you say; it's the sarcasm in your voice that makes it cruel. Oh and that little smirk of yours is no better than a slap in the face." I turned to look at her again and what I saw was evidence enough that the stress imposing on Harleen which displayed itself in her appearance was now seeping through the cracks as the look of sheer frustration was etching itself onto her face. Suddenly I had a feeling of superiority come over me, where it came from I'm unsure but I enjoyed it and decided if Harleen could disrupt my studies whenever she pleased and tip me off balance with the months of endless prattling about Kopski, whom she was evidently learning bad habits from with her interruptions; then why couldn't I tip her over the edge for a change?

"Well it's a good thing you're not the one I'm 'slapping in the face' now isn't it?" I smirked again and her mouth moved slightly, the fact that she was gritting her teeth was a given. However before she decided to inevitably retaliate I turned away from her and back to my books which I knew would really test her patience.

"Maybe it would be a better idea to go down to the library and get working on that term paper, wasting your time looking for Kopski won't get it done." I felt a twinge on the side of my mouth; I found myself unable help the smile that I was resisting to let out.

"_Fine_," I heard her state sternly before the door slammed shut, what followed it was an entire hour of silence. I didn't feel guilty about her reaction at all. After all, I had done her a great favour in giving her a firm push in the right direction to get her away from Kopski and do what she applied to college for. I knew she'd thank me for it when Kopski decided to drop out, even then I knew that it was only a matter of time before he eventually gave up and left.

"Hey Jonny; you seen Harley anywhere?" Kopski asked as he burst into the room an hour later before throwing what I considered to be $150 worth of text books onto the floor in a disgruntled pile. As usual, I didn't even bother to turn around and look at him.

"No, I haven't seen _Harleen_ today." I lied but made sure to correct him. I knew that Harleen didn't need Kopski distracting her in the library over something petty, just as I was never in need of it.

"Damn, I need to get hold of her," although I was somewhat curious as to what the urgency was, I was committed to ignoring Kopski and refused to reply and ask him why. I didn't feel quite up to hearing about his personal problems either way.

"Come to think of it, you'll do," he continued after what must have been some form of contemplation on his part. With this I heard the door close firmly.

"Are you sure you're not better off talking to her if it's something concerning you both?"

"Nah, you're probably a better person to come to anyway. I could do with a little advice before I talk to her," he insisted although I really didn't wish to know.

"Why come to me for advice?" I asked hoping I could possibly persuade him to leave but this only caused him to persist further for my advice.

"Because you know her better than I do man, you're the next best thing after that feminist redhead she hangs out with and I ain't goin' to her to talk about this that's for sure, she gives me the creeps, dunno what Harls sees in her." The person in question was of course, Pamela Isley, a feminist, botanic obsessed flame haired sophomore who was in many aspects, the complete binary opposite of Harleen. The intense friendship of the two is something that puzzled even me as Harleen considered Isley's word to be the most important thing concerning everything she underwent. If anything, her dependency on Isely was unnerving.

"I suppose she can be a little overbearing," Kopski charmingly snorted at this before I heard him collapse onto his bed dramatically.

"Yeah, that girl needs to get laid if you ask me." He chuckled to which I saw the perfect opportunity to undermine him.

"Hmm, don't we all?" the sarcasm was clear yet Kopski failed to understand it, instead taking it as some kind of overcompensating masculine comment that one of his simple minded jock friends would have made on a regular basis, of course each time remaining just as amusing as the last.

"Now that's true," he paused for while, evidently thinking of a way he could inform me of what he wanted.

"Look, I dunno how to say this but, well you're a guy right?" he asked somewhat hesitantly.

"The last time I checked," I smirked which Kopski didn't find too appealing, his facial expression was enough evidence of this.

"Huh, yeah well ya see the thing is that I've been waiting for the right opportunity to y'know, show Harleen how much I feel about her, if you know what I'm talking about?" with this I decided it would be wise to turn around and at least appear to care about what he had to say for a change.

"I'm sure I do," although I was resisting to display how disgusted I was at the whole aspect of what Kopski had just said, I had to appear to be actively engaged in the conversation.

"Yeah, well I've hinted at it but she hasn't exactly been too keen on the idea." I suspected this much, even though Harleen never shied away about her interest in Kopski, much to my discomfort may I add. I knew that she wouldn't give him an inch concerning this matter and that she had more than likely denied him this on more occasions than Kopski was describing it as.

"Your problem being?" I already knew what he was going to ask but I was taking time to process what I could do with this information. Knowing that Kopski had discussed it with Harleen what must have been multiple times, something in me decided that I could use this to possibly create a disruption between them.

"How do I get her to, y'know, _warm up_ to the idea?" Kopski asked, the look of desperation on his face was pathetic and I quite enjoyed being in such a position of influence. After all it wasn't often that I was given the opportunity to being in this kind of position.

"Let me get this perfectly clear so neither of us is getting the wrong idea about this." I paused in false contemplation, knowing full well what I was going to tell him to do. It amused me so much that I found myself, yet again, having to resist smirking to myself about it.

"What you're asking me here is how you can get Harleen to sleep with you?" I asked him in a dumbfounded manner that even he appeared to be confused by. The thought often occurs to me that maybe he did know me better than I originally thought.

"Well, when ya put it like that," he began to retract as the simple wording of what he was asking sounded much too offensive for his liking.

"No, that's what you're asking me isn't it Guy?" I insisted because in all honesty I wanted him to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing, expecting me to tell him to respect Harleen's wishes and leave her alone but no, this wouldn't do. There were two parts of me, one part told me this was completely unnecessary and that I should look out for her best interests but the other part insisted that I needed to do something, anything to distance Guy Kopski from my life as much as possible, no matter what the cost; coincidentally it was this part that was the dominant factor.

"Look if you don't wanna talk about it then I'll go to one of the guys." He edged forward to get up but I interrupted his uneasy leaving strategy.

"Oh no, I just wanted to make sure that I'd understood you. I'll tell you something about Harleen that may help you," with this Kopski relieved his arms and leant forward as though he were being let in on some ridiculously important secret.

"What is it?"

"Well I've known Harleen for a while and believe me; she doesn't like to be told what to do. If you want this to happen between the two of you, you need to catch her off guard." I began, wondering how far he would take my advice and I knew he would take it, after all who knew Harleen better than me? Isely – maybe she did but there was no chance of him asking such an extreme feminist her viewpoint on this, for Kopski it would have been like running into a live railway line. Little did he know that my advice wouldn't aid him in the slightest.

"What do you mean?" he played dumb, though I use the word 'played' very loosely concerning him.

"She loves surprises," I smirked at him as he lapped up every word of it.

"Yeah," his eyes widened like a pathetic puppy waiting to be fed and I couldn't resist relishing in it slightly.

"Another thing she loves is assertiveness. If you want her to get excited enough to do this, you'll have to take a more...well, _active_ role." I emphasised the word 'active' to let him make what he wished from it, that way if questions were raised later, I could claim my innocence.

"Ah I get what you mean," he smiled and nodded slightly in compliance. The great thing about what I told him that this part of me is still proud of is that I technically didn't lie to him about this. It was true that Harleen loved assertiveness and often bored me with the whole concept of its attractiveness***.

"How you do it of course is entirely up to you but remember what I told you. She _loves_ it," I informed Kopski who appeared to be satisfied by my answer and how couldn't he have been? I had officially given him free reign on forcing Harleen into it, in his mind he would get to have what he wanted from her as soon as possible.

"Thanks for the advice Jonny, I owe you." He told me sincerely with a smile before getting up off the bed and nearly standing on the expensive text books that he had so haphazardly left on the floor.

"Anytime," I turned back to my work to let him leave in piece and silently revel in my victory as I heard the door open behind me.

"Oh and you should really loosen up a little more often man, you're a cool guy. I didn't wanna say this but you sound like Professor Cavendish**** talkin' the way you do. Save the well spoken stuff for your work y'know, it puts the girls off; you could be swarming in 'em if ya took the time to relax." Kopski had to state before he left which of course wasn't well received. I would have been more irked by it if I hadn't just given him the worst possible advice a person could give in his situation. He'd look like the fool that he is, that was enough to make me happy.

"I'll bear that in mind," I told him and paused briefly as I heard Kopski begin to make his way out of the door.

"Good luck," I shouted after him, knowing full well that it would do him no good.

"Thanks man, see ya." Kopski's voice sounded distant as the sound of the door closing behind him muffled it. As soon as it closed I cracked a smile and thought about how Harleen would get rid of Kopski once he had made his advances on her and what his reaction would be when she refused him. What I didn't comprehend at the time was just how far he would go with my advice. However in my defence concerning the matter, there was no guarantee for me that Kopski would go even further than a bit of casual enforcement. All I thought about was how this event would signify the welcome reuniting of mine and Harleen's regular routine and a long awaited farewell to Mr. Kopski.

* * *

* Obviously in reference to his little 'experiments' – it's funny how Johnny's not elaborating on this much isn't it? Something to hide methinks!

** Gotham City University – a bit obvious but I thought I'd just write this in anyway haha :)

*** A contributing aspect towards her attraction to the Joker later on in life.

**** Dr. Charles Cavendish is the Arkham Asylum administrator in 'Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth' so I thought it would be fun to use an already existing character and possibly hint at a future story. Hmm, maybe I should start compiling a sequel to the sequel of 'Shadow of the Bat'?

In these origins stories I thought it would be interesting to see how Jonathan views Harleen as well as how Harleen views him and how their analysis of each other's personalities can be so inaccurate, after all they're only human, just because they're both observant and intelligent/think they're in the right all the time doesn't mean that they are :)

ALSO, how naughty is Jonathan! Or should I say _Scarecrow_? Well that part of him is yet to be fully developed but what I wanted to show in this chapter is how potentially evil he already was and the irony that he studied to have a career in psychology all those years when he maybe should have been seeking a bit of counselling himself. Then again, maybe the poor guy is lashing out in frustration because likes Harleen more than he's letting us know? It's certainly something to think about ;)


End file.
